Bow Down to the King

Sport

I was more excited than Pauline Hanson at Pork convention when Novak Djokovic was sensationally knocked out of Wimbledon this week.

That’s not to say I don’t love the bloke, his incredible talent and his presence on court, but as one of the world’s great Roger Federer fanboys I immediately identified the gap in the market that Nole’s shock disappearance left.

… That’s not to say I don’t think Federer can still beat Djokovic on his day, but let’s face it – he’s getting pretty bloody old. Not many players can say they’ve beaten both Nick Kygrios AND Moses on clay.

There’s absolutely no arguing that the Joker is the undisputed best Tennis player on circuit; perhaps the most dominant player in any sport currently.

Losing the World Number 1 from any tournament is a major blow, but his ridiculous dominance of late has meant every competition has pretty much been a foregone conclusion, and you can leave me right out of that.

I can also be spared of anyone else’s arguments on this, because I am right: Roger Federer is the best tennis player in history, but the addition of one more Grand Slam title would make it truly unquestionable.

It would be like finding an extra wicked wing in your ultimate burger meal if he was to complete the feat on the hallowed Wimbledon turf, as well. Almost too much, but definitely not.

For this dream to leap from wet to reality, Federer will have to overcome big bastard Milos Raonic in the semis, before ultimately turning my semi into a full-blown rager in a likely showdown with Andy Murray.

Murray is more prone to a stumble under pressure than Oscar Pistorius fresh out of bed, so we could very well be on here.

I’d like to think Fed’s 2016 Wimbledon low was dropping the first two sets against Marin Cilic on Wednesday night and I’d like to think the high of his 2016 Wimbledon so far was taking the next three sets. He simply cannot afford another performance like that.

What is sure to add to the pressure already lumped of Raonic however, is Federer’s perfect 10-0 record in Wimbledon semi-finals. The Canadian already has to deal with the Swiss’ textbook serve, unbelievable shot range and second-to-none game reading, as well as being Canadian. This therefore could be the straw that broke the camel’s extremely lanky back.

Reading back over everything I have just written, it seems pretty clear I would prefer to enter into a relationship with Roger Federer than watch him win this year’s Wimbledon title. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

On the other side of the tournament, we remain in line to witness a re-birth of one of world sport’s best ever rivalries, as both Venus and Serena Williams are alive in the race to the Women’s title.

Strong hitting, sharp rallies and more sass than a six pack of wine coolers, Williams vs Williams is a dead-set dream. The next few days, in fact, are a dead-set dream.

OPINIONS ARE LIKE BUMHOLES – EVERYONE HAS ONE AND THEY STINK!
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