New Year’s Eve is here!
Yes that means Perth Cup Day isn’t far away and there’s a legit excuse to go on a 12-hour plus bender to match that of John Daly. Hey, if you can snag five PGA tour wins and two major championships when shitfaced why not?
It also means that no matter where you are there is going to be fireworks of some kind going off like Alex Rodriguez’s Tinder account and some idiot asking what your New Year’s resolution is.
Whether you’re watching the Harbour Bridge spectacular in Sydney or in the backyard setting off some illegal crackers, not that we’re encouraging but #SendVideos, nothing says New Year’s like fireworks.
Your Instagram account is also likely to be flooded with lame inspirational resolution quotes – #SpareMe – that make you want to drink away 2015 even more.
So this week’s joke is dedicated to New Year’s, fireworks and the ladies 😉
Happy New Year’s guys, may it be drunken and half-remembered but fully enjoyed like a Sharapova bikini shot!
I have invited a girl from work round to my house on New Year’s for the fireworks.
I’m hoping to explode in her face.